Absolute legend and glorious future prime minister Boris Johnson has promised massive amounts of cash to help the struggling UK spoof news industry.
The announcement comes just 24 hours after the most celebrated political mind in a generation leaked that he’d be giving each and every higher rate taxpayer their very own bus, along with a generous reduction in their tax bill.
Mr Johnson says he has nothing but admiration for people who make a career profiting from lies and fiction, but away from politics the most excellent prime minister ever says he also enjoys reading 250-word satirical articles topped with a clickbait headline and cheap stock photography.
Insiders say that Boris, who deservedly leads the field in the Tory leadership battle and should be anointed as leader at once, recognises that online sarcasm will be the UK’s only growth industry post Brexit and wants to be seen to fully support it.
News of the cash injection, which is likely to confuse people who read the headlines but don’t click through to the articles, has been welcomed by industry insiders with The Post Truth Post’s very own Ray telling this reporter:
“This is great, I’m going to buy a new toaster and then vote for Boris every single time!
“I haven’t been this excited since the Daily Mash cashed in their chips.”
The usual critics have been quick to claim that paying off people who have nothing better to do than sit in their pyjamas writing cheap parodies is just another cynical attempt by Johnson to bribe his way into the power he so clearly deserves, but we wholeheartedly disagree.
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