Donald Trump’s security detail are at DEFCON 1 this afternoon after their charge suggested he’d like to try a British milkshake before he leaves the UK.
Mr Trump, who remarkably navigated a full state banquet without tweeting about the lack of chlorine in his chicken or trying to buy Buckingham Palace, demanded that aides find him someone who could deliver a milkshake.
Sources close to the candyfloss-topped commander in chief say that Nigel Farage had warned the President to “look out for the milkshake” on his UK trip.
Seemingly taking the Brexit Party leader’s advice as a recommendation, the leader of the free world was adamant that he wanted a milkshake “exactly like the one Nigel had”.
“Look Nigel runs this little island and if he says the milkshake’s good then I want a milkshake, so bring me someone with a goddamn milkshake,” Trump bellowed while shaking one tiny little fist.
Chefs at the US Embassy quickly produced a Michelin star quality strawberry favoured lactose beverage, but Mr Trump demanded that he wanted a “Brit one like Nigel’s been raving about”.
Exasperated with his staff, the President retired to his private bathroom and expelled a tweet.
“Brits!!! This is your President, and I’m going to give Scotland to the first one of you that brings me a thick creamy milkshake.”
Response to the Presidential request has been unprecedented with thousands of people arriving at the US embassy throughout the afternoon.
At first, embassy staff thought the vast crowd were just the Conservative leadership candidates arriving to suck up to the President until a Marine guard noticed that they were all brandishing milkshakes.